Don't let a difficult bridesmaid ruin your day.
Your wedding should be one of the happiest days of your life, but it also can be one of the most stressful days you may ever experience. Managing the friends and family involved in executing the ceremony and reception takes patience and finesse to avoid hurt feelings and conflict. If you find yourself dealing with a difficult bridesmaid on your special day, keep in mind a few proven tricks for handling challenging people.
Choosing a Bridesmaid
You have probably chosen your bridesmaids because they're people with whom you feel a special bond or people you've known for many years. They might be friends you see on a regular basis or friends you only talk to a few times a year. Whatever the status of your relationships with your bridesmaids, the role of a bridesmaid is to offer support and assistance to the bride on her special day and even in the weeks and months leading up to the event. Avoid problems with your bridesmaids by choosing people you know will come through for you and by making everyone aware of what you need and expect from them.
Be Considerate and Supportive
Depending on the size and scope of the wedding, there can be a lot involved with being a bridesmaid. Your bridesmaid may be called upon to help with wedding plans, purchase and wear a dress she doesn't like, and deal with your challenging friends and family members. When dealing with a difficult bridesmaid, consider her feelings and be just as supportive of her as you expect her to be of you. This creates an even playing field and an environment of mutual respect.
Be Appreciative
Praise goes a long way toward smoothing ruffled feathers. If your bridesmaid feels as if she is unappreciated, she may lash out and become difficult to deal with. Offer plenty of praise and tokens of your appreciation along the way -- words or small gifts -- to make each bridesmaid feel as if she is special and valued. Later, when you ask a difficult bridesmaid for a big favor, you may find she is more compliant and easier to handle.
Be Flexible
You may have a vision for your wedding that you are unwilling to part with, but holding on too tightly to this vision may leave you disappointed. Remember that individuals have their own will and may not want to go along with every plan you come up with. If your bridesmaid is being difficult about the dress or expenses, meet her halfway, either by choosing a less expensive dress or by offering to pay for half. Inflexibility on either side will inevitably lead to discord.
Be Honest
If you've tried to deal with a difficult bridesmaid without success, it may be necessary to ask her to relinquish her position. Even good friends sometimes don't make good bridesmaids. If the friendship is strong enough, it will survive this hiccup; if it's not, then maybe it's a friendship you didn't need after all.
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