The bride should stand out.
As the maid of honor your duties include helping the bride plan for the wedding and keeping the bridesmaids organized--but by far your most important duty is the bachelorette party. The maid of honor has the sole responsibility of planning the bride's final goodbye to single life. Plan an evening the bride is sure to remember and cherish for years to come.
Preparation
Decide who to invite. Traditionally all female participants in the wedding are invited. Close friends that are attending but not part of the wedding party are welcome, but avoid inviting too many. You want a manageable size group if you will be traveling to different locations throughout the night. You and the bridesmaids are the only necessary guests. Inviting the mother and mother-in-law-to-be of the bride to a pre-party dinner or cocktails is in good taste and includes them in the festivities.
Plan the party date from three months up until three days before the wedding. Avoid having it the night before the wedding. This is reserved for the rehearsal dinner and you also don't want the bride tired on her special day. If many of the party guests live out of town, schedule it for the night before the rehearsal dinner.
Send invitations four weeks before the party so guests have time to plan. Though the responsibility of party planning falls on you, everyone chips in to pay for it. Create a budget for the party before sending out invitations and include the amount of contribution expected from each person on their invitation. This is one of the few times it is acceptable to put a dollar amount on an invite.
Location
The bride's preferences come first and foremost when choosing a location. While the exact plans are a mystery to her, as the maid of honor it is your task to choose places you know she will enjoy.
Bar- and club-hopping is a common theme. If your bride enjoys nights on the town, arrange for a limo or a driver before. The bride should never have to drive and if there is going to be drinking involved, plan for it ahead of time. Make a loose schedule of where you will be going. Plans may change, but this prevents everyone standing around and wondering what is going to happen next.
Parties at home or in reserved restaurant dining rooms are appreciated by brides who prefer female bonding to painting the town red. Arrange for drinks and food beforehand. Hiring a male dancer is common and must be done by the time you send out the invitations. Be very clear with the agency about the time and date you need the dancer. You may not want him showing up while the mothers of the bride are still there.
If financially feasible, a weekend away at a nearby spa or resort is another bachelorette party idea. This can combine nightlife in the evenings with bonding during the day. Plan weekend parties for at least two weeks prior to the wedding so the bride does not feel stressed or rushed by being away for so long.
Gifts and Favors
Gifts aren't expected or necessary for a bachelorette party, though token presents are often given. The party itself is the gift so any presents should be inexpensive or silly. Group gifts from all attendees such as lingerie or a book of bedroom tips are proper.
Make sure the bride stands apart from the rest of the group. She is the princess for the day. A tiara or hat with a veil attached can be purchased from party stores. Have the bride wear a T-shirt emblazoned with "bride" or bachelorette" and give her a white feather boa to wear. A light-up oversize plastic engagement ring is another fun way to make the bride-to-be distinctive.
Favors should also be fun and silly. Phallus-themed items are common--but only if the bride is comfortable with it. Lollipops, whistles and cocktail straws with this theme are available from party stores. Present the women with their favors as the evening gets going on the way to the first location, or before the dancer shows up.
Strings of brightly colored plastic beads, miniature plastic engagement rings and buttons declaring the intention of the party for everyone to wear are tamer favors. Unlike elegant wedding favors, bachelorette favors celebrate a fun night with kitschy style.
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